I couldn't cover up all those things that I thought was insecurities , because those were the assets that made me who I am. Those characteristics were what I was born with so I couldn't ignore them. I had to love them no matter what they were, they were apart of me , because God gave them to me. As I grew,God began to reveal to me that those same things that I thought were insecurities made me strong and unique and led me to my purpose. The fact that I fought through the struggle and STILL accomplished my goals and practiced my gift is what made me relatable. My goal is to reveal my struggles through my blog, pictures, and creativity.
Through my Struggles I found my Purpose...
While I was going through hard times in life I thought I was missing out on my blessings and exploring the world. What I found out is , I was just beginning to know what life was truly about. I assumed by doing what I love like designing, styling, blogging and creating symbolic sceneries, I was just engaging in something I was passionate about. What I didn’t know was that practicing what I love led me to realize my insecurities that I had and how much my anxiety was affecting my life. It also showed me how low my self-esteem was and the things I would try to hide, while I was styling myself. I knew I had these problems ,I just tried to cover them up and ignore them with clothes and my talent.
In life we can hide our true feelings with all sorts of material things that block the way we truly feel about ourselves. In my case clothes was my cover up. It covered the parts of my body that I hated the most. It wasn’t with any name brand or expensive clothes; it was with the “priceless clothes” , that made me feel better about myself, clothes that hid my insecurities. But now I’m starting off brand new and not only blogging about unique ensembles in fashion, tips, and creating unique sceneries, but also about insecurities, anxiety, life, and doing what I love to help others.
I did not know that what I was practicing would lead me to my purpose. What’s my purpose you ask? It’s solely helping people with their insecurities, life problems, and mental illness. It’s what I love to do, it’s my gift! My gift not only helps me, but most importantly it helps others. Some people may ask, “How can you help anyone if you’re going through?” You live and you learn. Throughout my entire life I’ve battled with anxiety before I even knew what it was or have been diagnosed with it. When the doctor prescribed me medication it was my choice to decline and treat myself the natural way by facing my anxiety head on.
I tried to cope with my anxiety while working in the field of Psychology dealing with at-risk youth almost made me lose my mind! The stress that I took on made it even worse. I knew I had to face my problems head on and all the insecurities and nothing could hide rather it was my clothes, my smile, or my confidence that was crumbling into pieces. When I stopped updating my blog a couple of months ago because I had to focus on work and finances, I realized how much I needed it as an outlet. Who was I going to write to and express my feelings to when I couldn’t reach my family? That’s when I realized I needed this blog to better myself and get my emotions out not only for me but also for people who are dealing with the same issues, insecurities, and mental illnesses. That’s when I found my purpose!